23 Jan Turning New Year’s Resolutions into One Daily Resolution

I like lists and plans and organized calendars. I like to color code my Rubbermaid storage containers to match the seasonal decorations they hold. Clearly, I like order. Knowing this about me, should also let you know that I love the New Year, it gives me an opportunity to clean things up, list things, and plan things – a fresh start in the New Year. It’s a time dedicated to making disorderly things, orderly.

For years I would look at what was “broken” in my life and resolve to make it unbroken. If my marriage was in shambles, I would resolve to make it awesome. If I was feeling unworthy, I would resolve to lose some weight and gain confidence. If my kids weren’t perfect, I would resolve to read more parenting books and parent like those others I see. My list goes on and on.

The thing is I tried to do all those things, I really did. And sometimes I was successful and sometimes I wasn’t. That one year, I lost weight. But the year after, my marriage fell apart. And my kids… well, they are just like yours – human.

It was the year that my marriage fell apart that I gained a better understanding of resolutions and God’s hand in it all. It was a warm July day when I was on my knees in the kitchen asking God why He was allowing all this to happen. I had done the “right things”, I had read my Bible, and prayed for my husband, fought hard for my marriage through Christian counsel and marriage books and still, here I was, alone, trying to make sense of my life. It was then that I realized that God didn’t care about my plans.

He never did.

It was a hard truth that hit me even harder. I sat there on the floor remembering all the things I had read about His will for my life and none of them included following my plans. I picked myself up off the floor that day and turned it over to Him. I wish I could say the next few months were breezy because of this new clarity, but they weren’t. 2010 was a hard year, but it was the year I grew most in Christ because I allowed myself to drown out the world and focus on Him.

The year my marriage fell apart I clung to the following verse:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

It’s beautiful isn’t it? He has plans to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future. My plans are completely juvenile in comparison to His – why trust mine? Throughout my Christian life, my one constant prayer has been that God would use me in whatever way He seems best for His purposes. Here’s the part I hadn’t thought through… I have to allow it. His plan is perfect, so why is that so hard for me to walk at times? Because I’m human and although my heart knows His plans are best (Isaiah 55:8), my head fights it every step of the way.

Last year didn’t end the way I thought it would and this year won’t either. Resolutions aren’t a yearly event for me anymore, they are sometimes a monthly event, and to be honest, sometimes a daily event. My one and only resolution – to let God be God and to step out of the way.​

Renee Beste is a wife, mom, marketing manager, and purger of all unnecessary things (whether her family agrees with her or not).